Blasting Taylor Swift while cleaning the house to get ready for the Beach Fam to come up! Bout to bake a cake for mommy’s birthday tonight. Great way to end the year with the people I love and that are always there for me.
2010 was rough for me. Rough from the very beginning.. literally. I will never forget what happened that day, a year ago from tonight. I want to say that’s what set my whole year in motion downhill. Kinda like the snowball effect, roll a little bit of snow downhill, and the roll will get bigger and bigger.
The huge snowball just kept rolling down, about to hit me soon enough.. At one point in year 2010, I couldn’t take it anymore, I wanted to give up so badly. I just wanted to stop everything and run away from the world. But one person changed that. That person made me feel special, made me realize that I’m not utterly complete shit in life. I love talking to this person and for some reason, I knew things were getting better and everything will be okay.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t rely on this person for happiness anymore. While he was moving on, I couldn’t find the strength to.. And with him not in the picture anymore, my problems seemed to reoccur constantly. Even that never forgetting “incident” from last year, seems to be coming back from the dead. To think it was already done and forgotten, this moment or situation just won’t die.
But no, there’s no way I’m going to let this ruin my night, my year. If push comes to shove, hell, I’m pushing back. My New Years’ Resolution is to find out more of who I am and to learn how to speak out, express how I’m feeling.
2011, I’m so ready for you.